As we close the year 2013, and enter into a new year, I find myself reflecting on what was good, what was bad, and what I want to be different in the coming year. I gave up on making resolutions, because I don’t stick to them, and then I made goals, which were inevitably too lofty – so now I decide to make attempts. I still try to do something I can measure, that I can reach, and that still challenges me to do better. So, the past few days, I have been thinking of things I want to improve on, things I am working on, and things I am already doing well (or, at least, I’m on the right track.) There are a few things I am working on that I think we all should give a try.
I’m a counselor of the Rogerian/Interpersonal/Feminist persuasion, so advice giving seems strange to me. Instead of framing it in that light, I want this list to just be a list of good things. I am a Martha Stewart fan, and on her show and in her magazine, was always a list of simple crafts, recipes, and tips she labeled as “good things.” It is in that spirit that I offer you my list of good things.
1. Eat real food.
When I was an in-home therapist, I found myself in remote areas which could definitely be classified as the “food deserts” we heard of recently. The only chance for a snack was the dollar general store or a gas station, and in the heat of the summer, packing a lunch was impossible. So, I found myself eating highly processed chemical laden substances that can hardly be classified as food. My wife and I were also depressed, and we both stayed exhausted from our jobs and never felt like cooking. Fast food became a normal routine.
After a trip to the doctor about chronic pain, and after I quit my in-home therapy job (which was insanely stressful for less money than I made at Home Depot as a cashier), I began to make some changes in my diet. We both did. My doctor challenged me to eat five vegetables AND five fruits a day. That hasn’t happened very much, but I have come close most days, and some days, I even meet or exceed that challenge.
I went to a Chinese medicine doctor for my fibromyalgia pain, and when I went, she told me something amid the acupuncture needles, the Eastern music, and the heat packs. She told me to only eat foods that had been prepared with love.
Wow. I really believe there is so much truth in that – that when we eat things made in anger and frustration, we take that energy in.
One other significant moment for me came in the form of a video – the scarecrow Chipotle ad.
I had read in magazines and articles, had watched videos. I knew what the food industry was doing. For some reason, though, I was moved to tears by this production. So, to our cage free eggs, organic non-hormone milk, we also added organic humanely raised meat, with no antibiotics or hormones. Absolutely the price is more – but we found something else is true – the taste and texture is better, and the meat is so fresh that the wrappers do not even stink up the trash. Seriously. What kinds of negative energy are we ingesting when we eat meat that comes from mistreated and “pumped up” animals? Not to mention the harmful nature of the chemicals, hormones, and antibotics.
So, eat real food. Prepare it with love. Connect with the earth and appreciate it as you enjoy your meals.
2. Compost. Compost. Compost.
As you are eating more fruits and vegetables, save your peelings. If you forget about something in the fridge, and it starts to wither, compost it. Save your coffee grounds, egg shells, newspapers, and even paper towels. All of these compost well. You can buy an inexpensive bucket with a lid to keep inside, and then, carry it out to your pile or barrel when it is full. Make sure you add leaves or paper to keep the compost from being too liquid if you are using a barrel. And turn it frequently, or stir it if you are making a ground pile. Compost is great for any garden, but it is vital to a strong lasagna garden bed.
3. Plant a garden.
Put your compost to use, and save yourself a pretty penny by growing your own organic vegetables. Make sure your seed is free of GMOs. To do that, only get your seed from companies that have signed a pledge saying they will not knowingly sell GMO seed. That list is here.
Also, do not use chemical pesticides or herbicides. They kill bees. Instead, plant flowers and herbs next to your vegetables. There is a wealth of information on herbs and flowers that attract beneficial bugs (ones that eat the pests) and bees to pollinate your vegetables. Sometimes, you may just need to remove some pests (like horn worms) by hand. Weeds should be pulled, and if you must spray – vinegar and salt work well for beginning weeds, and flame throwers are also a good non-chemical solution.
For fertilizing, just use your compost, and natural substances – no chemicals.
4. Practice peace.
Here is a biggie for me. I tend to let things get to me, and I get very anxious, depressed, and angry. But now, I am resolving to stop that bad practice. By focusing on the present, focusing on the simple things, and reducing my intake of social media, news, and controversies, I am trying to cultivate a healthier inner and outer life. I am reading books on ways to redirect stress, and focus on controlling my reaction to stressors.
Not getting caught up in controversies is easier said than done. I have a lot of words swimming around regarding the ludicrous nature of the whole de-quackle (oh I am corny.) I also have a lot of inspiring things I am feeling about Robin Roberts (You are amazing. Light Love Power Presence). I want to write about the waves of equality and how there is so much more work to be done. However, I am not going to spend my time writing and focusing on things which make me angry (chick fil a and camo, seriously?)
Instead, I am endeavoring to focus on what is in front of me, and to put things in front of me which are, as Robin put it: Light, Love, Power, Presence.
Things like my wife, our pets, making healthy meals together, planning our garden, and reading from the lectionary, and practicing the common prayers. Things like investing more in friends, watching less news, riding our bikes and hiking more. I am placing sources of peace in front of me. What a good thing.
Well, that is a small list, but a very good start. I wish for you all, a wonderful new year filled with love, faith, hope, and joy – and that we all would work and pray for peace. Here’s to 2014 being better than 2013, and to making sure we make that happen.
This year, I was struck by how much of Christmas is about a baby. I cried all through Advent service, at every song and every prayer, as it struck me at my core and reached a part of me not reached til now. A new, expected, long awaited for baby who brought so much hope, love, and change. Let’s continue to celebrate and hope for that newness being born in all of us.
When I was a kid, and we got too loud, the parent or teacher would usually say something like, “Let’s play the quiet game!” The rule was the first person to say something loses. It’s the worst game ever when you are a kid, even a quiet one like me.
But now, as an adult, I kind of wish I could just say that from time to time – at work, on the web, and in stressful situations. “Let’s play the quiet game!”
It pretty much never fails.
I am determined to live a less stressful life. Determined to make time for peace, exercise, writing, music, and gardening. Time for silence, meditation, and quality time for my wife and I to just enjoy being with each other.
Then, something happens.
A big something. A small something. Or, a thousand tiny somethings.
I determine I will not allow hatred into my space. I determine not to allow people who will say things that are hurtful and ignorant about my relational orientation anywhere near my life. I slash through my facebook friends list and eliminate anyone and everyone who has ever posted something against us, used a gay slur, or engaged in any other non-supportive behavior. I delete people I don’t really talk to, all in an effort to
simplify,
simplify,
simplify.
I stop listening to NPR for a week, take all the blogs I follow out of my feed, because they, too, stir up controversy. I don’t read news stories and blogs about the things that matter to me, because I know I will read the comments and get angry and deeply hurt.
I finally start to feel better, and my physical and emotional pain subside. I can feel peace and rest finally comes.
But, then it happens.
I look at an article, and I like it so I read on and my eyes stray to the comments or to past entries, and I can feel my shoulder seizing up into a tightened mess.
A family member does something non-supportive. Every joint and muscle prone to fibromyalgia pain burns and aches.
I feel sick. I think I am going to literally fall and vomit.
Somebody, for the love of God, do something.
Help us.
This world is full of noise. Of anger. Of violence.
Our Facebook news feeds, Twitter feeds, media consumption, and GMO diets have us full of trash in body, mind, and spirit.
Rather than being fed, we are being drained.
We dehumanize one another, and cease to be good examples of humanity ourselves. We can’t possibly believe we are doing the world any good when we are like this.
And I start to see the beauty and hope of redemption, and I see that it is only possible if we are willing to lay our arguments down, willing to lay down our weapons – and then to take it a step further and to form what has been used to harm into something that can be used to cultivate life.
So how do we find rest?
How do I find rest?
I struggle with disconnecting from social media because of the role I play in some people’s lives – who contact me in confidence. I struggle with the fact that if I want to succeed as a writer, I have to be somewhat self-promotional. (The same is true for my musical pursuits.)
But I also feel the need to go off alone for a bit. And to just be. To be without the sounds and sights of media. To put my hands in the earth even more, to create, and to just be with D and laugh. Because we need it.
We have a cat in the hospital. She was hit by a car over the weekend. We found her crouched and crying and bleeding under our car where she had been hiding.
I sobbed as she cried and blood poured from her mouth.
I called, and she drug herself.
We wrapped her in a towel, and rushed her to the emergency animal hospital an hour away. We cried off and on the whole way. She was hurt so bad, we thought it was another of our cats, until after her exam showed it was one of the younger ones – one of the kittens born on our back porch just a few months ago.
Luna.
Luna had to have her leg amputated yesterday, and had to have her jaw reconstructed and mouth wired shut so it can heal. Because of her swelling, she had to have a tracheotomy put in place for a few days so she can breathe. She will also have to have a feeding tube.
We are doing everything we can to help her.
My spirit has also felt wounded and weary lately, and I feel like I have been going through an amputation of my own, and that there are still parts of my life that need to go so that new life can very literally grow inside of me.
The doctor told us that after he amputated Luna’s leg, the pain meds were able to be reduced drastically.
I hope the same is true as I am eliminating what I am able to of the major stressors in my life.
It will be important that D & I mind Luna’s feeding tube.
We will need to be careful of what she takes in.
I need to be more careful of what I take in.
So if you do not see me on social media as much; yes, there is a reason. If I don’t respond to messages or comments as quickly, be patient with me please.
It’s time to rest.
It’s time to be quiet for a bit, and to not listen any more to noise. It is time to take in good food. (Like the homemade organic pickles we had last night, made with heirloom cucumbers from our garden.) And it is time to have face to face or over the phone conversation. It is time to just surround myself with love and support as I grow and as the children in my dreams become reality.
It is time for peace.
It is time to laugh.
It is time to set the worry aside.
It is time to heal.
Peace be with you.
Love,
C.
What about you? How do you find healing, growth, and peace in this fast-paced, media obsessed, and sometimes hateful world? How do you set boundaries in your relationships and in other areas of your life?
Bees, C's, & D's 